Chapter 20
IPNT Gallery, the Hunnidist
In contemplating the human condition, it's evident that life itself is fundamentally an unlucky happenstance. As David Benatar aptly put it, “nobody is lucky enough not to be born, everybody is unlucky enough to have been born.”
At IPNT Gallery, we take a step back, casting a critical eye on the many “isms” and forms of dogma that dominate society. Unlike the 1960s noir glamour, our space resonates more with the mysterious allure of "mistero giallo" rather than traditional art history. Every day at I Prefer Not To Gallery feels like a birthday, and every night like a New Year's Eve surprise. The fear of missing out never plagued us; after all, when we sold our naming rights to Cratesafe, Inc., in Venice, CA, back in 2013, we found a unique kind of freedom. Retiring, for us, didn't mean giving up; it meant embarking on a different journey altogether.
Recognizing that culture can't be built top-down, we did the most radical thing possible—we threw in the towel. But this wasn't an act of surrender. Instead, we ventured into a new lifestyle, creating a tentscendentalist living camp dubbed the “Pacific Zugzwang” of “tang ping”—a Mandarin term for lying flat in silent protest. In an era characterized by rampant greed and mass corporate culture, our slogan became "don’t do something, lay there." This mantra was our form of "Bai Lan," a strategic withdrawal in the face of overwhelming consumerism, much like the ancient art of doing nothing.
Our tents were pitched tight, tighter than Pitt’s PR. We found solace in palliative neglect, turning our backs on a decaying overworked system. In a world where late-stage capitalism and neoliberalism parade in their expensive but ultimately hollow attainments, our gallery created value out of valuelessness. We opted to sell "ghost art" and "ghost poo" on the dark web, embracing our mission to eschew modern global confusion and obfuscation. Life at IPNT wasn't about hankering after material possessions but rather about cultivating Menschkeit, achieving wisdom and character.
Through a tactical play of illusion and reality, IPNT crafted a unique narrative using the written word as our visual art, seeking veridical luminosity. We smoothly navigated the shadowy corridors of our practice, unmasking truths and creating poetry through our form.
We've lived the artist’s dream in a myriad of ways: sharing cigarettes with Keanu, working behind the scenes for Jerry Springer, chauffeuring DJ Quick and Rakim, pitching genderless fashion to Silas Chow, constructing three-hole golf courses, earning the friendship of an NBA team owner, and even crossing the Indian Ocean to lay subsea cables. We've seen it all, from acquiring art from opulent mansions to receiving advice from once-renowned psychologists. Our adventures also took us dynamite fishing in the Himalayas, working strawberry fields in Moss Landing with Vernon Trindad, engaging in romantic escapades with Ukrainians, and mingling with Hollywood aristocracy on Italian beaches.
All these experiences taught us one thing: celebrating capital produces nothing but drones, leading to yet another dull dinner party. We reject the idea that artists—and their works—are mere disposables.
As Rudyard Kipling wrote, "The tale is as old as the Eden Tree - and new as the new-cut tooth - For each man knows ere his lip-thatch grows he is master of Art and Truth; And each man hears as the twilight nears, to the beat of his dying heart, The Devil drum on the darkened pane: 'You did it, but was it Art?'"
Living the "hunnid" life through years of practice has shown us that art, when infused with genuine conviction and devoid of societal constraints, can be liberating. We opted out of breeding, passing on over 5,000 opportunities, to live in eternal retirement and prove that an unorthodox path can foster freedom. We embrace a carbon-conscious lifestyle while maintaining a “Bai Lan” attitude—playing our 13-string banjo, saving turtles, living clean but adventurous lives, cycling, and walking secret trails.
We're here to show that not conforming doesn’t mean missing out. Pure fortitude, a clean conscience, the best wave, and the present moment matter most. Our journey through life, aiming for continuous non-replicability, positions us as site-specific Pacific hunnidists, visible even in our ghostly manifestations.
For more information:
1. Submit all inquiries to our publicist. Expect a 13-month wait list.
2. All production is authentically outsourced to a single professional in Moss Landing, California.
3. The decreasing number of literature graduates is alarming. In our divided age, mastering the art of empathetic and imaginative reading—uninfluenced by political or religious bias—is more crucial than ever.
